2011: A new year

So it's been awhile since my last post. Mostly because blogging is terribly banal and I was tempted to blame myself for my lack of consistency, but I just realized that my life in Portland now is well... not newsworthy and things just don't seem new to me anymore. This blog will now be devoted to me, which is just a tad less egotistical that twitter, but moreso that facebook since you don't see anything about anyone else.

This was my second christmas trip back to Hawaii since I left it, but this trip affected me profoundly. Hardly do I believe in spontaneous epiphany, but I do believe that pieces came together to represent something a larger theme like a mosaic, e.g the little facts and history toward the end of the year, I interpreted as something significant that changed me.

The family cat died, Frasier. That of which it is semi-tragic for three reasons 1) he was only 12 years old (most house cats are able to hit 18-20) 2) my mom was really sad 3) he died near Christmas and he was my mom's present 12 years ago. I was glad in his final days, I spent less time outside than I had planned to while I was in Portland (it was 40 degrees at the time, even I considered going to the beach), and spent time petting the cat. I also let him sleep in bed with me, where one night I got to tell him how good of a cat he was and thanked him for being a joy to the family. Those times where he barfed random insect parts didn't seem so gross anymore if not a little humorous and signature of his existence as a house cat.

The part that got to me was that the passage of time was significant while I was away. You could say denial/naive, I say I thought the theory of relativity applied to me: my life in PDX was moving so quickly that I stayed the same, except when I returned, everyone had aged. Not to mention, there were more children around, including my new niece, who looks like my mom.

Upon returning to PDX, it was 30 degrees and I got to see my friends' new first child. Seeing two new children spawned from people, it occurred to me that I might be okay with that kind of life. I still focus too much on the sleep deprivation, the apparent usefulness of hormones that help deal with the screaming pink monkey, the loss of xbox time, and where coffee is no longer a tasty amenity, but a survival based necessity. But it's a major step forward.... getting to someday. Sounds like a title for my my self-help book "Getting From "F#$K NO! to ....maybe someday" FYI, we are penciled in possibly next year.

How significant was this past couple months? I've been looking at my xbox suspiciously: it's a symbol of my youth, my stress relief, and I am skilled. However for life to progress,  I need different skills and time away from video games to develop them.

On the plane ride back, it's been a new tradition of mine to plan my goals for the new year. A theme of this year is working towards being able to be more disciplined to buy a house and to be more giving in preparation for being a father. In short: less selfish with my time.

-Cook 1x per week (I've actually cooked almost every week since we got back)
-Find new job in Portland (I have an interview and an informational interview in the next two weeks)
-Golf 3x this year
-Schedule own doctor, dentist, and optometrist appointments (scheduled own doctor recently)
-Travel to Japan (going in March)
-Travel to the Columbia Gorge (going in February)
-Watch the Simpsons Movie (done and simply awesome, Spider pig... Spider pig...)
-Be more supportive of wife (I cook, do laundry, wash dishes, and clean bathrooms)
-Bike 30 miles (previous longest was 25)
-Put books on bookshelf, put documents in file cabinet
-Find new renters (our are moving out in July, probably)
-Learn to Skype and get family on board with that (will be useful later)
-Dance, Tai Chi, tryout for workship team (maybe, not a big priority right now)
-Be more sanitary: wash hands better, don't eat old food, sanitize kitchen/bathrooms with bleach weekly, clean sponges, etc (I get sick often, which is unusual since moving here)

I've also been invited friends to come over for breakfast the last two weeks. It made a ton of dishes, but it's fun and the cleanup is rewarding. Hopefully this translates to when I have children.

Btw... I plan to post monthly.